SHUE GIVEN WALKING PAPERS; COTTON FITZSIMMONS HIRED

The Tampa Bay Ballers, the preseason #1 ranked team has started off the season with two straight losses and you just knew heads would start to role somewhere. It usually starts with the head coach and Wednesday night Gene Shue was shown the door after a 107-101 loss to the Sacramento Kings.

After a late preseason trade to send Kevin Garnett to the New York Knicks the Ballers have not been the same. Shue’s offense and defensive schemes have not fit Garnett well and it showed again last night after going 6-17 from the field. Garnett was attempted to be interviewed after the game in response to the firing, but responded with no comment.

The Tampa Bay Ballers are expected to have a press conference today formally announcing the hiring of Head Coach Cotton Fitzsimmons.

"This is Jack Jive, with the smooth monotone on the mircrophone broadcasting live…league action. Who will be the champion, and who will take bumps and lumps for their faction. No one remembers 2nd place in this race for the gold, the trophy the glory…..everyone remembers a champions story so what'cha gonna do is your squad ready and prepared to rule!!!!!"







Jack Jive

WILDCATS FINALLY SHIP WEBBER

After months of rumors, the Louisville Wildcats finally found a new home for Chris Webber as they traded him to the busy Orlando Magic in exchange for Larry Nance. Webber had been on the rumor mill being discussed with different teams, but nothing had ever come of it. His up & down play has never sat well with Owner Dre’ Chapman even toying with the idea of Webber coming off the bench. It looked as if Webber may have played his self out of the dog house with some nice games down the stretch in preseason, but the Larry Nance offer looked too good to turn down. Now Larry Nance & Yao Ming look to form a formidable front line in the East. Webber believes he can turn the Magic in to a formidable opponent as well. “Playing with LeBron and the rest of the guys in Orlando will be fun. There’s plenty of talent here so I feel that we should be a contender in the end.

RICK CARLISLE AXED IN RECORD TIME!

One game is all it took for Carlisle to get the axe for the Sacramento Kings. The Rumor Mill suggests that Carlisle was actually let go before the season started, but couldn’t be confirmed until General Manager Jesse Allen returned from vacation on Monday. Kevin O’Neill was introduced to the media as Head Coach Yesterday in a press conference in downtown Sacramento after the Kings lost to the Shelbyville Bobcats.

When asked about what the style the Kings will play O’Neill cheesed with excitement. “It will be a fun style for the fans. We will definetly take full advantage of the talented shooters we have on this ball club.”

MICHAEL REDD SENT TO ORLANDO; RECEIVE RON HARPER IN RETURN

Michael Redd is on his way to his third team after being dealt to the Orlando Magic last night. Word is that the Ballers were not happy with Redd’s selfish ways. The Orlando Magic on the other hand were happy to receive another shooter to backup Reggie Miller especially after the bricks they threw up against the 76ers.

Looks like the Ballers are still in search of the shooter they need to fit the bill and received a “Josh Howard type” in return. Looks like the Ballers are missing Howard just a little bit

HORACE GRANT WORKS WAY BACK ON ACTIVE ROSTER

The Tampa Bay Ballers announced today that they would be activating Horace Grant and sending Sam Cassell to the inactive list. Grant was acquired recently in the Free Agent draft after being released from the Los Angeles Lakers. “It feels good right now because I had no idea where I would end up after being released.” The Ballers have had a problem with interior defense & rebounding something that Grant excels in. “I will do whatever they need me to do. If they need some energy off the bench I can do that as well. I just want to get started.” Sam Cassell ‘s demotion may be in part to Jason Terry recent acquisition. Terry is a shooter which is something the Ballers are really have in search of.

Fife Dawg's Power Rankings

1. Tampa Bay Ballers (8-2 in Preseason)-The Preseason Tournament Champs still come in at #1 despite a late season trade that dealt fan favorite Amare Stoudamire to the New York Knicks.
2. Los Angeles Lakers (9-2)-It was a close second for the Lakers, but they have yet to beat the Ballers in a head to head matchup when it counted. The Lakers (as always) have made moves right before the deadline that could take them past the Ballers or move them down this list.
3. Louisville Wildcats (9-3)-The Runner Up of the Preseason Tournament took a step down from #2 after losing to the Lakers in a Preseason matchup, but look strong after adding more shooters to the roster. The move to put Kobe on the bench though could come back to bite them.
4. California Crips (9-2)-The Crips have not made any movement but to fill out there 15 man roster. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” is the mantra they live by. The Crips feature one of the more athletic teams offensively & defensively. Dwayne Wade will need to step it up though if they are going going to contend for the Western Conference Crown.
5. Elite Hoops (7-3)-Hoops seemed to mortgage their future when Tim Duncan & Alvin Robertson where dealt to Dallas for Ralph Sampson but responded nicely to acquire Hakeem Olajuwon & Dikembe Mutombo before the dead period.
6. Atlanta Hawks (9-3)-The surprise team of the League. After starting the season off slowly, Coach Bill Sharman has picked up the morale of the team and turned them into a contender for the Eastern Conference Crown.
7. Black Mudd Bandits (8-4)-The Bandits started out strong, but have faltered towards the start of the preseason. A loss to the Miami Marauders seemed to crush the ego of the players. We will see if they are able to pick it back up.
8. Houston Rockets (8-4)-The Rockets have yet found the team unity to be able to make a push towards the top of the West. Drafting Tyreke Evans & Monta Ellis in the Free Agent Draft shows the Rockets have no trust in Point Guard Baron Davis.
9. Philadelphia 76ers (5-2)-The 76ers made a push for the Eastern Conference title by adding bigs Artis Gilmore & Ralph Sampson but inconsistency in the team led to the firing of Jeff Van Gundy and the hiring of “The Czar” Mike Fratello. It’s up to Fratello to get them to there goal.
10. New York Knicks (6-4)-The Knicks made the biggest splash right before the dead period adding scorers Amare Stoudamire & Josh Howard to go with Kareem. The Knicks have been inconsistent, but watch out if they ever get going.
11. Boston Celtics (6-5)-The Celtics made a good showing for themselves in the Preseason Tournament, but have struggled against top quality opponents. Red Auerbach made some moves in the Free Agent draft that may help correct that but ultimately it’s gonna fall on Nowitzki & Russell.
12. Orlando Magic (4-6)-The Magic have been on a roller coaster all preseason, but a move to put LeBron at point guard could turn them around. The Magic also put together some moves in acquiring Reggie Miller & adding Clark Kellogg via Free Agency to give LeBron the scoring options he needs to be successful.
13. San Antonio Spurs (4-6)-The Spurs have been juggling lineups and players the whole preseason and nothing still seems concrete at the start of the season. One thing for sure is that Tracy McGrady will probably be one of the top scorers in the league this season. If the Spurs can find someone that can consistently help McGrady with scoring they should be a playoff team.
14. Sacramento Kings (3-5)-King fans gasped at the fact that Shaq would no longer be a King. After infuriating management with his lackluster defensive effort, the Kings dealt the big man for Chris Mullin, Raef LaFrentz & Reggie Theus. Now the Kings sport one of the finest shooting teams in the League. Will it work? We shall see.
15. Shelbyville Bobcats (4-6)-The Bobcats may have traded themselves into a decent playoff spot when Charles Barkley was dealt to the Phoenix Suns in exchange for Marcus Camby. With the Bobcats slow down & tough style the Bobcats will give a lot of running teams fits in the halfcourt.
16. Chicago Bulls-The Bulls where recently where recently acquired by a new owner. Can he turn them into a legit competitor? The Bulls do have talent for sure with Karl Malone, Alan Iverson & Isiah Thomas and have upgraded a short bench by acquiring George McGinnis & Spencer Haywood.
17. Miami Marauders (4-6)-The Marauders struggled mightily in the beginning of preseason but a lineup change with inserting Samuel Dalembert resulted in a upset of the Black Mudd Bandits. The Marauders have good talent and may have added a starting center with the selection of Andres Bierdrins so look out for the Marauders they could make a move up on this list.
18. San Francisco Quakes (3-7)-The Quakes have just not been able to keep up with the rest of the league and adding Jerry West has not helped. Jermaine O’Neal has exploded on to scene after a ho hum stint with the 76ers although Larry Bird has not showed any type of his greatness after Julius Erving left town. Without Bird this team will never fly.